Connection and Correction in Parenting: 7 Simple Strategies
Before we can correct behavior in a meaningful way, we first have to build trust, connection, and safety with our kids. Here are seven practical steps to guide that process:
1. Build Connection First
Children are more receptive to correction when they feel safe and connected. You can build that foundation through:
Eye contact
Playful interaction
Saying “yes” when possible
Meeting their physical and emotional needs consistently
2. Model Repair When You Mess Up
Mistakes are part of parenting. What matters most is how we respond. Take the lead in making things right by apologizing and repairing the relationship. This teaches kids that relationships can be safe, even after conflict.
3. Offer Do-Overs and Choices
When your child responds in a maladaptive or unhelpful way, offer a chance to re-do the moment. Sometimes this might look like suggesting a different response, offering a compromise, or giving them appropriate choices. This invites learning, not just punishment.
4. Keep Correction Gentle and Playful When Possible
Correction doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective. Start gently—use humor, play, or soft redirection. If needed, you can increase structure and boundaries while still maintaining a calm and respectful tone.
5. Address Behavior Quickly and Calmly
Respond to misbehavior in the moment, directly and with intention. Correcting behavior right away helps your child connect the dots and learn from the experience, all while keeping the relationship strong.
6. Explore the Need Behind the Behavior
After things have calmed down, ask yourself: What was my child really needing in that moment? Understanding the root cause helps you both find healthier ways to meet that need next time.
7. Equip Your Child with Emotional Tools
Teach your child how to manage big feelings, feel more in control of their emotions, and stay regulated through coping strategies like:
Deep breathing
Grounding exercises
Simple mindfulness practices
If your child has experienced trauma, grief, or loss, counseling can provide a safe space to process those experiences and build resilience.
